


The Ones We Have Lost And The Ones We Have Found

by shippingandrecieving



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: And Kallus is dumb, Kalluzeb Summer Exchange, Kissing, Lad's getting handsy, M/M, Pops the champagne cork on my imposter syndrome, Referenced canonical major character death, Zeb is a sweetheart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:22:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25269793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shippingandrecieving/pseuds/shippingandrecieving
Summary: Victory, was an odd feeling.
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios
Comments: 14
Kudos: 73
Collections: Kalluzeb Summer Exchange





	The Ones We Have Lost And The Ones We Have Found

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jellysharkbat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellysharkbat/gifts).



> Another for Jelly 💕 (I didn't misread the rules and do all three sshh) 
> 
> The prompt for this one was 'don't flatter yourself'.

Victory, was an odd feeling.

He'd won battles, conquests, survived against all odds, but this was new.

A defeat for the Empire and he still lived, despite his best efforts but no one needed to know that. Better people than him had been lost and it didn't feel fair; all those real rebels dead and the war criminal imposter once again left alive to stumble through the rubble.

Gregor's body had been left behind, Kanan lost to the destruction of the factories on Lothal, and the Bridger boy had flung himself and the Grand Admiral to some far away coordinates in deep space.

Kallus had grown fond of the three of them, but he had no right to his misery.

The 'kids' without their younger brother, Rex and Wolfe mourning the loss of yet another brother of their own, and Hera without her love and a baby on the way.

It was in no way a fair victory.

Alexsandr sat at the makeshift bar alone, nursing a chipped glass that had somehow found it's way into his hand. He felt very much as though he watched the rebels and the newly freed people of Lothal through a pane of transparisteel; yes he drank the alcohol that had been passed to him, and felt the congratulating pats to his back and shoulders, but it all felt very... _over there._

He glanced across the room and his tired eyes fell once again on Garazeb, still there, like especially tenacious sunlight.

He knew he shouldn't, but Kallus had spent more time than was polite watching Spectre Four laugh and celebrate for those who had fallen, although his usual enthusiasm was dampened by his own sorrow.

Despite his -all their- losses, Zeb has his family and his people. He wouldn't want Kallus, not in the way that the phantom Lasat in his dreams wanted him every night.

Shortly after his defection, Garazeb had laughed so brightly at something he had said, some foolish quip that had the Lasat's huge furred shoulders shaking and his head thrown back, showing off all those sharp teeth and Alexsandr had felt the world stop spinning. He had realised then, that he was completely, utterly, and _hopelessly_ in love.

The Holos always made it sound like the most wonderful thing in the Galaxy, it instead made Kallus feel sick.

 _Don't flatter yourself, he's like this to everyone..._ Kallus thought bitterly and swallowed down another sour mouthful of his drink.

Kallus looked down at his hands, wincing at the beautiful vibrance of the Lasat's laugh, something about air vents and a very small Ezra had coaxed a happy noise from Hera. That wasn't for him. Not for a selfish, cruel, bloody handed, murderer. No matter what he wished for.

Things had taken a awkward turn for him one night several weeks ago, when dream Garazeb had pushed him against a wall for a deep kiss -monstrous tongue and all- then lead him sweetly to bed. Alexsandr had woken up with tear tracks leading to his temples and a mess between his legs.

He groaned into the mouth of the glass.

He didn't have to imagine the strength of that Lasat's hands, he knew that simple power from old fights and new sparing matches, just as he knew the glint of those sharp fangs and the brightness of his eyes. Each telling twitch and fold of those ears... _They must be so very soft to the touch_ , Kallus mused, _like the finest velvet._

He jumped then, head shooting back up from where it had fallen into his hands at the feel of one very large and warm, and _real_ , four clawed hand squeezing his shoulder.

The concern in Zeb's bright green eyes warmed his chest but turned his stomach. He wasn't worthy of any Lasat's kindness, least of all the unerring loyalty and heart of Captain Garazeb Orrelios.

Alexsandr turned his head away before he could say something very foolish, the alcohol churning in his guts offered him no bravery.

He released a pitched hiccup of surprise as those strong arms his dreams and tortured him with wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him in tight. His breath stuttered and stopped at the cushiony feel of soft fur under that battlesuit against his chest.

"I know that look, Kal." Zeb murmured into the golden fall of his hair. "Yer not what you think of yourself, you've grown past that and you've earned your place among us."

Kallus swallowed, forcing back the voice that whispered _no I haven't_.

Zeb pulled back and slid one hand up to squeeze Alexsandr's shoulder, thumb resting over the ridge of his collar bone.

"I'm real proud of you, Kal, everyone here is." Zeb worried his lower lip between his teeth in a human gesture of anxiety, and his ears flicked back. "Listen, let's uhh...let's you an' me, go for a walk."

Alexsandr's breath faltered. Had Garazeb figured him out? Planned to him away from the crowd to let him down gently, or outright berate him and demand he keep his distance. Or even leave?

One large and guiding hand settled on his back and spread it's grounding warmth from shoulder to shoulder. Kallus tried to focus on that, rather than the sickening thump of his heart struggling to hammer it's way through his ribs.

The lively noises of the rebel's victory faded into a muffled echo with each corner they turned until they found empty hallway to duck into.

Kallus drew a deep breath. Best to get it over with before the meagre threads of his courage snapped for good. He couldn't meet Zeb's eyes for fear of it.

"Garazeb, please let me apologize-"

"I've been thinking about you-"

They froze staring at each other.

Those beautiful, viridescent eyes blinked and Alexsandr felt his heart stutter as both of Garazeb's feline ears twitched then folded low, tucked neatly against his skull. Slowly, Zeb took a single hesitant step forwards.

Kallus' voice was tight and pitched high. "Garazeb?"

"Kal, uhh, _Alex..._ " Kallus' mouth went dry, no one called him Alex. "I, umm...aw _karabast_!"

Zeb reached for Kallus hand and gently linked their fingers together. He closed his eyes, bravery faltering, and softly brought the human's scarred knuckles to his lips, then rubbed them against the short fur covering his cheek .

His next words were the softest Kallus had ever heard them.

"I think..." Zeb blinked twice, gaze caught on the hollow of the human's throat he found his words. The very tip of his tongue slipped across his fuzz covered lips and he peered back up to stare deep into Kallus' golden eyes. "I might be in love with you?"

And just like that, the world beneath Alexsandr's feet stopped spinning once again.

"...what?" Kallus heard himself say through the ringing in his ears, and that too sounded very far away.

Zeb's brow furrowed in concern and he reach out gently to take the human by the shoulders. "Steady..." He murmured, stepping closer, ready to keep the other man upright if he fell. "I want to hear you say it, but I...I-I think you, might love me too?"

All of Alexsandr's words had fled him like summer time birds at the first breath of winter's chill. He grasped at Zeb's hands and nodded fervently, feeling himself sway forward with the pitching dizziness of vertigo.

Garazeb stepped forward as Alexsandr pulled him back and gasped as his shoulders hit the wall, head thunking back with the motion and his chapped lips hung readily slack.

There was a moments hesitation with only breath between their lips, then Kallus lunged forward, colliding their mouthes and he cupped Zeb's jaw in his freckled hands. Garazeb always considered human kissing to be unfortunately messy but at that moment he had no complaints to Alexsandr pushing his greedy tongue past his lips.

Zeb reached down to the human's thighs as Alexsandr reached for his shoulders and Zeb hoisted him up the wall, growling against Kallus' quivering lips at the feel of two wonderfully long and sturdy legs wrapping around his hips.

That growl turned into a moan at the feel of Alexsandr's legs squeezing him tighter. Human kissing was still wet and messy but Zeb was beginning to see the hungry appeal. "...Alex..." He mumbled against the man's lips, if only for the assurance that the man in his arms was really there, and not just one of his dreams taunting him again.

"Oh, Zeb..." Alexsandr's lips parted with a sigh under his own and he wrapped his arms around the Lasat's neck to pull him closer.

Garazeb groped himself two wonderfully full handfuls of Kallus' arse and hauled the owner of said wonderful arse higher against his chest. Kallus gasped a shaky cry into mouth at the friction.

Zeb could feel him, solid and hot against his belly through the fabric of Kallus' trousers. Human cocks had no sheath and that discovery had thrown a spanner in the cogs of his mind; it was just _out_. He'd spent two years fighting a man with his cock just sat in his pants like a house guest at your kitchen table.

He burrowed his face into Kallus' neck to hide his smile, and drew in another greedy lungful of his intoxicating scent.

If human cocks were always out, how would Kallus react to a partner with one tucked away neatly in a sheath. Would he be disgusted, or sink those blunted white teeth into his reddened lower lip and watch, enthralled, as Zeb's own alien length slid free? Karabast, Zeb hoped for the latter, he could almost _see it_ happen.

Zeb whined and rocked his narrow hips forward. He swallowed down his moans, and revelled in the promise of Alexsandr being a very noisy lover.

Kriff, at this rate they'd not make it around the next corner. Zeb reached down to squeeze between his legs with a soft groan at the feel of the tip of his cock already pressing a wet spot into the crotch of his battlesuit. Kallus moaning and squirming in his lap was not helping that desperate ache to be freed in any small measure.

"Where does that door lead?" Zeb panted, his hot breath fanning out against Kallus' wet lips.

"A very cramped storage closet." Alex panted as he slid back down Zeb's chest to stand, and groped for the Lasat's hips as their bodies were once again bought flush together. "Ah! How far away is the ship?"

Zeb bared his teeth in an unsteady, lopsided grin and took Alexsandr by the hand. "...Aw, it's close enough."

If anyone noticed Spectre 4 and Captain Kallus running across the landing field, stumbling to kiss each other with a voracious need, then no one would say a word. And if drinks, credits, and clothes traded hands because of that then, well, neither of them needed to know.


End file.
